Toxic friendships I

 

Hallo Vrienden,

Even been in a friendship without enjoying it?or felt belittled by a friend? Ever been In a Toxic friendship?...How did you leave? Here are my thoughts on Toxic friendships......this is a very extensive discussion so it might have a second part jsyk....Now you can read along 😉 

Major stages in Toxic friendships include:

1. THE COMPETITOR

OPERATING MODE: Always. Needs. To Feel. Superior.

SIGNATURE MOVES: Running against you for positions ; prying about your grades (then bragging about theirs); undermining your accomplishments.

WHY IT’S TOXIC: A little friendly competition can spur you to do your best, but constantly worrying about being outdone by someone who’s supposed to have your back? Now that’s exhausting. “Friends should celebrate your successes as much as they support you through tough times,” 

HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT: If you often ask yourself “When is it my turn?,” you may need to find a friend who is happier boosting you than bursting your bubble.

2. THE FLAKE

OPERATING MODE: Often dishonest, always unreliable

SIGNATURE MOVES: Cancels at the last minute… or just fails to show up; “accidentally” excludes you; lies about where they are or ditches you for better plans.

WHY IT’S TOXIC: Sure, we all occasionally break a date. But a toxically flaky friend slowly kills your confidence. one agonizing disappointment at a time. “Friends need to be dependable,” “And they definitely don’t ditch you because they found something better to do.”

HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT: If a friend treats you as an afterthought, breaks promises, or just never shows up, stop bending over backward to make plans. Downgrade them to acquaintance and wait for them to make the next move.

3. THE USER

OPERATING MODE: Takes, takes, takes without giving

SIGNATURE MOVES: Never texts unless they need something; borrows money and never pays it back; always wants a favor (but is MIA when you need one). 

WHY IT’S TOXIC: Friends should be willing to share—but that means giving as well as taking. “A friendship can be toxic when one person makes the relationship all about them,”  “If they only call you when they need something, they aren’t leaving any space for you or your needs.”

HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT: Trust your gut—you’ll know if your friendship isn’t equal. If you feel like you’re running on empty constantly trying to keep your friend happy, you’re not getting anything out of the relationship.

4. THE CONTROLLER

OPERATING MODE: Bossy (times a million)lmao

SIGNATURE MOVES: Putting a stop to your other friendships; cutting you off or speaking for you (“Sorry, but Sarah would never go to meeting with you”); rudely commenting on what you wear. A girl said “I wore a new shirt to school, and my friend toldme I couldn’t wear it anymore because she had the same one"

And I had question marks popping out of my head lmao 

WHY IT’S TOXIC: We all want input from our friends The thing is, there’s a difference between giving a friend thoughtful advice—and trying to rule them. When someone is constantly telling you what to do, they’re crossing an important boundary. “As a teen, you’re still figuring out who you are, “So it’s important to make sure that a friendship doesn’t swallow your unique identity.”

HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT: Explore who you are outside of the friendship....

I will drop my pen here because its getting to verbose and I guess we'd have to settle for a TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS II

Where we'd discuss the remaining 3 stages of toxic friendships and how to know if you are the toxic friend 😊 

Thanks for reading. 

Ty💜

Your dearest writer and friend ❤